Thursday, April 02, 2009

Four DVDs I Could Care Less About But Will Check-Out Like Crazy


Marley and Me starring Kathleen Turner, Broken-Nose Wilson and Jennifer Aniston. Guy and wife in Florida get dog that misbehaves.
My dog misbehaves all the time but I don't see anyone making a movie out of it. Maybe no one wants to see a hairy beast eating used tissues out of the garbage.

Twilight starring [teen hearthrobs]. Teenage girl Bella moves to small town Washington and "meets mysterious and handsome Edward" who is a vampire and has to battle his taste for blood to not eat her.
The way I understand it is like this: Vampire guy is hundreds of years old. Girl is about 16 years-old. Doesn't that make this the most extreme case of pedophilism ever? That is incredibly disturbing.

Seven Pounds starring Will Smith. Conscience laden Ben sees has a mysterious connection to seven different people.

Columbus Day starring Val Kilmer, Marg Helgenberger, Handy Manny. Thief is trying to unload merchandise and connect with ex-wife and daughter.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Twelve Novels


Laura Rider's Masterpiece by Jane Hamilton. Comedic novel with Laura and Charlie Rider of Hartley, WI leading a platonic marriage. When local radio gal Jenna starts emailing with Charlie, Laura decides to try out her writing skills by emailing as Charlie.

Lavender Morning by Jude Deveraux. Jocelyn Minton inherits a house and all possessions of her good friend Miss Edi. The house is in a Virginia town Jocelyn never heard of, and the mystery of Miss Edi's past dates back to 1941.

Still Life by Joy Fielding. Casey is a successful and happily married business woman. When a car wreck leaves Casey broken and comatose she is still able to hear everything in her hospital room. As she listens Casey finds her friends may not really be friends, and the car wreck may not have been an accident.

Alexander Cipher by Will Adams. Daniel Knox is at an archaeological dig in Alexandria, Egypt. When a catacombs are unearthed Daniel goes inside to investigate the possibility that it may be the tomb of Alexander the Great. Such a find would make Daniel famous, or whoever can shunt Daniel aside.

The Secret by Beverly Lewis. First in a new series by Lewis.

Serendipity by Louise Shaffer. Carrie Manning is thirty-seven and aimless. Her mother, who she never really knew, just died and Carrie starts to investigate into her famous theater family's history.


Whisper in the Dark by Robert Gregory Browne. "Naked. Incoherent. Covered with blood. That's how detective Frank Blackburne finds her - a beautiful Jane Doe brandishing a pair of scissors near the scene of a brutal murder. Is she the perpetrator? Or is she the only eyewitness to the handiwork of Vincent Van Gogh, a twisted serial killer with an 'artistic' bent?"

Ghouls Just Haunt to Have Fun by Victoria Laurie. "M.J. agrees to use her paranormal abilities on a new TV show called Haunted Possessions." When a knife on the show turns into lets a demon into the world M.J. and her ghost hunter friends get to work.

Small Crimes by Dave Zeltserman. Former cop Joe Denton gets out of prison early and heads home where the local district attorney bears the facial scars that put Denton in prison. No one wants Denton back.

Dare to Die by Carolyn Hart.


So Enchanting by Connie Brockway. Paperback romance with: lovely young lady, London society, Lord Greyson, fraud, Scottish Highlands, young witch, set fire to a passion, thrown together by danger and desire.

Large Print

Pursuit by Karen Robards.

DVD leftovers, DeNiro, Indians, James Bond


What Just Happened? starring Robert DeNiro, [other big names]. Comedy of a twice divorced Hollywood producer trying to save two of his movies. "A bitingly sharp comedy about what it takes to survive a treacherous world of backstabbing, greed, and runaway egos."

Cat Dancers. Ron and Joy Holiday move from ballet dancers into training and performing with lions, tigers and jaguars. Their marriage dynamic changes when a young male performer joins the business. A new Bengal tiger makes things fatal.

Quantum of Solace starring Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko. James Bond is out for justice. I think.

Slumdog Millionaire starring [Indian actors you never heard of until the Oscar ceremony]. Kid makes it rich on Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Has to show he was not cheating.

Dear Zachary: letters to a son about his father. Andrew Bagby was murdered by his crazy girlfriend in Nov, 2001. Crazy girlfriend flees to Canada and fights extradition. When crazy girlfriend announces pregnancy best friend decides to do a movie about Bagby for his unborn son and starts to follow the legal efforts of Bagby's parents to get legal custody of child.

Leftover from popular titles ordered for the MWFLS DVD group purchase.

Mad Money starring Stephen Root, Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah, Katie Holmes, Ted Danson. Three women conspire to steal worn paper money from the shredder at a Federal Reserve bank.

Definitely, Maybe starring Ryan Reynolds, Isla Fisher, Derek Luke. Chick movie about a widower of something.

Jumper starring Darth Vader, Michael Rooker. David is able to teleport himself anywhere in the world. He discovers others like himself and is "thrust into the midst of an ancient war while being hunted by a bloodthirsty band of zealots sworn to destroy all Jumpers."

The Hulk starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth. Scientist gets angry and turns green.

10,000 B.C. starring [people I never heard of]. Guy with dreadlocks fights animals and people to rescue his girlfriend.

Love Guru starring Mike Meyers, Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, Vern Troyer. Guru has to help hockey player win back wife and Stanley Cup.

Mr. Woodcock starring Billy Bob Thornton, Sean William Scott, Susan Sarandon. Seventh grader is tormented by his PE teacher. Years later he visits home and the teacher is not dating his mom.

Good Luck Chuck starring Dane Cook, Jessica Alba. [some stupid plot].

No Reservations starring Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart. Remake of some French movie. Chefs in fancy restaurant hook-up.
The back cover has a photo of Eckhart and Zeta-Jones about to liplock. Do you think Eckhart kept thinking he was about to suck face with a woman who smooches Michael Douglas? Yeesh.

Kid Movies

Bolt voiced by John travolta and Miley Cyrus. Action hero acting dog Bolt and his hamster side-kick are stranded in New York and have to make way back to Hollywood.

Ballet Shoes starring Lucy Boynton, Emma Watson. "Three orphans, raised as sisters, leave their sheltered lives and embark on an exhilarating journey that takes them to the heights of the stage, screen, and sky!"

City of Ember starring Bill Murray. The underground city of Ember is losing it's generator. Teens travel to find their way out before everything goes dark.

Return from Witch Mountain starring [interchangeable Disney kids plus that weird looking kid], Christopher Lee, and Bette Davis. Two evil adults use a boy's supernatural powers for evil.