Friday, February 22, 2019

Mystery and Musical


A Case of Bier my Mary Daheim. How do you pronounce Daheim? Daheim lives in Seattle where this mystery series is set.


A Star Is Born starring [actors]. Something about an old guy singer and a new gal singer and there are guitars.

Friday, February 15, 2019

Things To Read, Two To Listen


Black Leopard Red Wolf by Marlon James. Fantasy novel printed on fancy, heavy paper. With maps. Mercenary looks for a missing boy.

Anatomy of a Scandal by Sarah Vaughan. Decent cover I suppose, but it looks more like a promo of a TV show or a movie. Woman's husband does scandalous things and goes on trial. Woman deals with things.

The Current by Tim Johnston. Crime in "small Minnesota town". The dust cover mentions Back Root River. I checked and can only find Root River in Minnesota.

The Dreamers by Karen Thompson Walker.  According to a cover blurb this book "is stunning". Back cover blurbs say frighteningly powerful and profound and riveting. Page 216 says, "He calls 911 on the way."

Golden Child by Claire Adam. Is this a novelization of the Eddie Murphy movie?

Leading Men by Christopher Castellani. Something about famous people in the 1950s.


The First Conspiracy: the secret plot to kill George Washington by Brad Meltzer and Josh Mensch. Well of course it was secret. If you are plotting a murder it is foolish to tell everyone about it.

Musical Notes and Voices Enter Your Ears Through Electrical Magic That Was Cajoled From Plastic Discs

Love by Michael Buble. Canadian singer sings songs of romance.

Dumplin': original motion picture soundtrack by Dolly Parton. Tennesee singer sings and duets about adversity.

Thursday, February 14, 2019


Audiobooks on CD

Accessory to War: the unspoken alliance between astrophysics and the military by Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Avis Lang. 18.5 hours on 15 CDs.


Bohemian Rhapsody starring Rami Malek, Mike Myers. Biopic of the rock band Queen.

Monday, February 11, 2019

Where I Make Up Author Biographies


The Girls at 17 Swann Street by Yara Zgheib. The daughter of diplomats, Yara spent her formative and teen years in Montreal, Canada. Since then she has developed a deep abiding love for smoked meats and and Poutine. She now lives in North Carolina where she runs a driving school, but she visits her Montreal friends whenever possible.

The Matchmaker's List by Sonya Lalli. Ms Lalli is a graduate of both St. Olaf College and the Colorado School of Mines. Ms Lalli spent several years as a mining consultant in South America. Currently residing in Fargo, North Dakota with her spouse and two children Ms. Lalli is a city engineer.

Good Riddance by Elinor Lipman. Ms Lipman has described her family as "itinerant hippie intellectuals". Her family traveled the United States before settling in Ohio where they began a police dog training academy. Ms. Lipman was inspired to become a veterinarian and reads at least 2 books a week.

The Last Romantics by Tara Conklin. Ms Conklin has been a voracious reader since first grade. She and her sisters would often write their own stories and produce their own backyard plays. After degrees in English and Master of Fine Arts Ms. Conklin now lives in Northwest Arkansas and bikes everywhere she can.

Early Riser by Jasper Fforde. Mr. Fforde lives ffor ffun and ffrivolity. Ffamous ffor his novels riffffing on children's ffables he ffinds relaxation in Ffinnish vacations and meals of Ffrench ffries, and ffloured Fflounder.

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides. Mr. Michaelides is a graduate of the Medical College of Wisconsin and a practicing anesthesiologist in Los Angeles.

Remembrance by Mary Monroe. This is the 14th novel by Ms. Monroe. The ongoing Flint Hills series began from the tales her mother and aunts used to tell of growing up in Wamego, KS.

The Girl in the Glass Box by James Grippando. Bestselling author Mr. Grippando is most known for his novels but has also been practiced mime since his late 20s. Mr. Grippando studied under both Jacques Snicket and Ellington Feint in France before his writing career took off and he moved back to Pennsylvania. This is his first novel to combine his skill at both thriller writing and mime.

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Friday, February 08, 2019

Peppermint Rich Venom


Peppermint starring Jennifer Gardner. This title always reminds me of this song.

Crazy Rich Asians starring Constance Wu. Rich people do weird things.

Venom starring Tom Hardy. Monster lives inside human.  Things happen.

Thursday, February 07, 2019

Mystery and Some Large Print


Death By Chocolate Malted Shake by Sarah Graves. How recipes are in here anyway? Let's check... Dang, just one?  I read a couple cozy mysteries by Sally Andrew and one book had about 10 recipes.

Large Print

Tuesday, February 05, 2019

Two Things. Some Photos.

One Thing

The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing by Al Ries and Jack Trout. Immutable? Well, OK, you're the experts I guess. #11 is " The Law of Perspective: marketing effects take place over an extended period of time."

Second Thing

Fire and Blood by George R.R. Martin. 26.5 hours on 21 CDs. Dragons and swords. I guess.

Photos Without Notation

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

-15 Outside, Here Are Made-Up Stories


Crazy Cupid Love by Amanda Heger. A paperback modern romance with some woman match maker who is a descendant of Eros.

Connections in Death by J.D. Robb. I'm the only staff here at the library. Everyone else stayed home since today's low temperature was -25.

The Lost Girls of Paris by Pam Jenoff. I am going to close the library at 6PM since I don't want to stay any later. I'm kinda tempted to stay until 9PM just to preen and gloat about it. But, that would be silly.

Out of the Dark by Gregg Hurwitz. Hurwitz' author photo has him in a black t-shirt leaning against a chain link fence. His facial expression looks smarmy. But, I am in kind of a lousy and cantankerous mood.

Judgement by Joseph Finder. I should start spelling judgment with an E. Judgement. Both are acceptable forms.

The Wedding Guest buy Jonathan Kellerman. Kellerman has a new author photo. He is standing with a wooded background with what kinda looks like young bamboo in the background. He is smiling, wearing a suit jacket and no tie. There are also ferns.

I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella. I was at Sunshine Brewing last week after the library closed at 9PM and a guy bought me a beer. I told him I owed him a beer. Sunshine has a "Buy a Friend a Beer" chalkboard to publicize when you buy a pal a beer. I bought my wife a beer. She is not my pal, she's my wife.

Come Find Me by Megan Miranda. This is actually a Young Adult (YA) novel but the YA sticker is missing so I took the book along with the rest.

The Age of Light by Whitney Sharer. Why does almost every novel set in Paris have to put the Eiffel Tower somewhere on the cover. Oh, that reminds me...

Electronic Things

The power of Electricity and Lasers Provides You With Sounds Using Digital Encoding Within Plastic Discs

Come Over When You're Sober, Part 2 by Lil' Peep. Dead rapper raps raps from beyond the grave about life and love.

Weird by Julianna Hatfield. Singers sings songs about solitude.

A Star is Born: Original Soundtrack. Singers sing songs of romantic drama.

Everythangs Corrupt by Ice Cube. Rapper raps raps about modern society.

Audiobooks on CD

Long Road to Mercy by David Baldacci. 11 hours on 9 CDs. FBI Special Agent recalls her sister's childhood kidnapping and disappearance while investigating a missing person in the Grand Canyon.


Barry: complete first season starring Bill Hader and Fonzie. Depressed hired killer falls in love with acting. Humor and murder ensue.

Monday, January 28, 2019

Actors Acting


Black Panther starring Michael B Jordan. I thought we had a copy of this. Maybe it was damaged or lost or stolen.

The Birthday Wish starring Jessy Schram and Luke MacFarlane. Some romance thing that will definitely circulate.

When Calls the Heart: Season Three starring Erin Krakow.  10 DVDs worth of romance on the Canadian frontier.

Summer of 84 starring Matt Leslie. I think this is a horror movie. I'm not sure. A library customer requested this.

BlackkKlansman starring John David Washington, Topher Grace and Kylo Ren. To police officers infiltrate the Klan.


On the Other Side of Chaos: understanding the addiction of a loved one by Ellen Van Vechten, JD, MSW, CADC. Advice and experience on working with addicted loved ones.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Unmarriageable Suspect


The Suspect by Fiona Barton. Didn't we just get a book by Barton? Let me check... No. maybe I weeded a book by someone named Barton. I'll check the paper list... Nope. Oh well. Let's describe author photos instead. Barton is seated with a poured concrete wall behind her. She has a purple sweater on. That purple is a very nice color. Hey, check that out, Barton was awarded Reporter of the Year by the British Press Awards. That must have been nice. Do you think the awardees got free drinks or did they get the cash bar?

Tear It Down by Nick Petrie. Fourth novel featuring war veteran Peter Ash. I read the first novel and enjoyed it but have not caught up with the others. Petrie spoke at the Bridges Library System dinner a couple years ago. He was very patient with me. I skipped the author photo, I already met the guy.

The Rule of Law by John Lescroart. I have no idea how to pronounce Lescroart. I follow a few authors on the Facebook box. Every once in a while I see Lescroart posts on comment threads. I don't ask him for a pronunciation guide. I skipped the author photo.

Unmarriageable: Pride and Prejudice in Pakistan by Soniah Kamal. Modern telling but set in Pakistan. This looks kinda neat actually, and I've no interest in Pride and Prejudice. Let's get back to author photo descriptions: this one is a good one. The photographer caught a real nice smile on Kamal, she looks like she was in a great mood that day.

Night of Camp David by Fletcher Knebel. re-print of a 1965 novel that reminded people of President Trump: "President... rants about his enemies, unfurling insane theories about all the people he says are conspiring against him... plans he has to make America a great world power once again." No author photo. If I could find an old photo I imagine it would be in black and white and Knebel would be posing with a pipe or wearing a turtleneck or looking like he is sucking a lemon.

Audiobooks on CD

Brief Answers to the Big Questions by Stephen Hawking. 5 hours on 4 CDs. What kind of questions? How about these: Why does the dog have to sniff around for several minutes before finding a spot, even when it is 5 degrees out? Why is coffee so delicious? Does anyone read this blog or am I just doing this for my own enjoyment?

Bird Box by Josh Mallerman. 9.5 hours on 8 CDs. Usually people read the book and then complain about the movie. Now you can see the movie and complain about the book. Did Malerman get invited to the set and stand around. Scott Phillips mentioned visiting the set of The Ice Harvest, hung around a bit and then went home. After he left the Director said, "Where's Phillips?" He was surprised Scott left because most authors hang around the film sets forever and get in the way. Phillips has written some damn good novels.

Monday, January 21, 2019

It's All Paper and Plastric, Man.


The Songbird by Marcia Willett. It's all a bunch of paper sewn and glued together, man. It's just... like.. a thing. It's won't lead you to enlightenment, dude.

The ParAgon Hotel by Lyndsey Faye. Think of it this way: if you take this other collection of dead and compressed tree fibers how will your life change? The message inside if the meaning, man. The message inside, man, not the thing itself.

Crewel and Unusual by Molly Macrae. These books are just things. The message inside is what changes you. You gotta stop holding onto things, man. They're just things.


One Year After by William R. Forstchen. 10 hours on 8 CDs.  See? See?! Here it is, man. A prime example. You can't get caught up in the medium. Don't listen to McLuhan. The medium is not the message. Take the knowledge and dispose of the vessel. Free yourself of objects. Of things. That's why you go to the library. They keep the things, you keep the knowledge, man.

Man? Hey, man? You listening? Oh nuts, this is my stop. Catch you later, dude.


Thursday, January 17, 2019

Made-Up Stories With Made-Up Plots

Where I Make Up My Own Plot For Each Novel

The Paris Seamstress by Natasha Lester. Rural French girl moves to Paris, gets seamstress job, teams up with new boyfriend who burgles the homes of her wealthy clients.

Watching You by Lisa Jewel. Britta's Instagram popularity has hit 'celebrity' status. New friends. Media interviews. Sponsorships. And a connection with her ex-boyfriend, Lester.

Liar Liar by James Patterson Literary Industries, Amalgamated and Candice Fox. Debra has been training as a long distance runner since she was 13. Debra is high school state champion a collegiate runner-up, and on schedule for the 10,000M Olympic trials. Debra is also performance doping and her best friend from college is now running the testing lab.

Untouchable by Jayne Ann Krentz. The Indian caste system was done away years ago but Ananya stll carries the burden of Untouchable ancestry. She hopes a move to England will remove the stigma she still feels.

No Sunscreen For the Dead by Tim Dorsey. Rupert works one of the tourist shops on the boardwalk and his boss calls him "Mr Sunscreen" for his skilled sales pitch. Rupert's boss is under suspicion when a neighboring shop owner is found dead on the beach. What can Rupert do but get involved and ask around?


Unpresidented: a biography of Donald Trump by Martha Brockenbrough.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

Sounds Are Recorded and Played For Your Pleasure Using Lasers and Plastic

King of Cowards by Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs. Englishman cal themselves Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs  and sings songs of metal.


Everything She Didn't Say by Jane Kirkpatrick. Not dead Ambassador Jeanne Kirkpatrick.

The New Iberian Blues by James Lee Burke. More Dave Robicheaux crime and strife. I really enjoy theses novels but have not read one in a while.

The Burglar by Thomas Perry. I don't know what this is about. The title reminds me of a short series that ran on FX a few years ago. Thief starred Andre Braughler and i never got to finish watching it. The series is not available on DVD.

Death of An Eye by Dana Stabenow. Something to do with ancient Egypt and Cleopatra and Cleopatra's pal trying to find a murderer and missing coins.

Harvest of Secrets by Ellen Crosby. Great cover art.

Large Print

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Discs of Words. Words on Paper.

Audiobooks on CD

Past Tense by Lee Child. 13 hourson 10 CDs. Jack Reacher wanders around, gets in trouble, has sex, kills people, solves mysteries.

A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult. 14.5 hours on 12 CDs. Bestselling author writes another bestseller. Except this is an audiobook.

Fire & Blood by George R.R. Martin. 26.5 hours on 21 CDs. "Complete history of the House of Targaryens." Are those the uber-rich murderous family? I've only seen one season of the show so don't ask me.

Look Alive Twenty-Five by Janet Evanovich. 7 hours on 6 CDs. Something about Stephanie Plum trying to figure out why deli managers keep disappearing. I'm fairly certain I read or heard one of this novels over a decade ago. Not my thing.

Shadow Tyrants by Clive Cussler and Boyd Morrison. 11 hours on 9 CDs. Cover image has a B-! bomber crashing offshore of a tropical beach. The plot description on the back cover makes no freaking sense.


My Sister, The Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite. Dark comedy of a woman whose younger sister keeps killing boyfriends.


The Divorce Hackers Guide to Untying the Knot by Ann E. Grant, JD. Page 83 says, "Do not use your children as messengers between you and your ex."

Monday, January 14, 2019

A Guide To Murder Crochet


Bodyweight Strength Training: 12 weeks to build muscle and burn fat by Jay Cardiello. Page 60 says, "The rotation of the torso is key."

Web Watching: a guide ot webs and the spiders that make them by Larry Weber. HOw many lame jokes does this guy get about his last name? Page 13 says, "Oval abdomen of light brown has a white arrowhead shape in the center."

Big Book of Weekend Crochet Projects: 40 stylish projects from sweaters and scarves to blankets by Hilary Mackin and Sue Whiting. Does Mackin get lame jokes like, "Hey, Mackin, did you make a Mackin-aw jacket?"

Gut: the inside story of our body's most underrated organ by Giulia Enders. Page 146 says, "Of course, this excitement about gut research could still fizzle and come to nothing."

Badass Women Give the Best Advice: everything you need to know about life and love by Becca Anderson. A bunch of quotes and short biographies. Page 67 says," Frida and Diego were a very public couple."

Taking Flight: a history of birds and people in the heart of America by Michael Edmonds.  Page 29 says, "One archaeologist has even suggested that out-of-body experiences as birds could have inspired the colossal earthworks that the Hopewell created."


The Only Woman in the Room by Marie Benedict. Fiction tale of Hedy Lamarr. Hedy, not Hedley.

AudioBooks on CD

Murder By the Book by Lauren Elliott. 9 hours on 7 CDs. One of those Adult Woman Has Murdered Relatives Gets An Inheritance Moves To Small Town And Solves Murders novels.

Becoming by Michelle Obama. 19 hours on 16 CDs.

Friday, January 11, 2019

Here, Read These. Learn Something.


A Practical Education: why liberal arts majors make great employees by Randall Stross. Here, leanr the importance of Classics majors.  Page 64 says, "Herbert Hoover was a member of Stanford's Pioneer Class of 1895." Sure, Hoover was President but he was also blamed for the freaking Depression.

Houseplant Handbook: basic growing techniques and a directory of 300 everyday houseplants by David Squire. Here, learn to stop killing your plants.

One Million Followers: how I built a massive social following in 30 days by Brendan Kane. Here, learn how to sell stuff online.

Animal Hats to Knit: 11 wild projects to create by Luise Roberts. Here, learn to make a penguin hat to warm your head.

Garter Stitch Revival: 20 creative knitting patterns featuring the simplest stitch by Kerry Bogert. Here, learn to make a braided poncho.

Resilience: powerful practices for bouncing back from disappointment, difficulty, and even disaster by Linda Graham, MFT. Here, learn to deal with adversity and move forward.

Ramen At Home: the easy Japanese cookbook for classic ramen and bold new flavors by Brian MacDuckston. Here, learn to show your children ramen are not just cheap noodles.

The Hidden Life of Trees: the illustrated edition by Peter Wohlleben. Here, learn how roots grow.

Standard Catalog of World Coins: 1601-1700, 7th Edition by Thomas Michael. Here, learn how much rare coins can cost.

Wednesday, January 09, 2019

Made Up Stories


The Martin Chronicles by John Fried. Coming of age in New York City for an 11-year-old. Does Fried gets jokes about eggs and chicken? "Hey, John, did you order your eggs fried? Along with some fried chicken?" He is wearing a sweater in his author photo.

Fulfillment by Barbara Delinsky. Some sort of romance. This was originally published in 1988 so I suppose there are not cell phones in the plot. No author photo for Delinsky. If there was an author photo would they have pulled a photograph from 1988? They should have.

Turning Point by Danielle Steel. The cover says 'romance in Paris'. The book jacket says 'big time doctors from Bay Area go to a training class in Paris and help in a real-life emergency". I think this is the same Steel author photo as usual. Why get a new one when you publish one book a quarter?

An Anonymous Girl by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen. I assumed Pekkanen was a Fin in Finland. Maybe she is a Fin but she lives in D.C. Hendricks is in Manhattan. Both wore black for the author photo. Did they have a discussion about the photo and what to wear? How often do they meet in person to write their books? Do they need to meet in person to write the books? Maybe they avoid meeting in person because they just sit around and talk about family and politics, play with the pets, and drink coffee. I don't know, you'll have to ask them yourself. Let me know the answer.

Monday, January 07, 2019

Here. Books.


2019 North American Coins and Prices edited by David C. Harper. U.S., Canadian and Mexican coins. There were 1,477,967 proff sets of the 2009S 18 piece clad set sold. There were 14 different types of $5 Canadian coins minted for the 1976 Montreal Olympics.

Magic: The Gathering Cards: the unofficial collector's guide by Ben Bleiweiss. I'm not sure what the heck that game is about.

Cook Fast Eat Well by Sue Quinn. Take 10 minutes to cook five ingredients. Many pretty pictures. Page 110 has a reverse image; you can tell by the reverse label on the Tabasco bottle. Did I use that semicolon correctly?


Verses For The Dead by Preston and Child. Two author dudes write another novel. Page 142 says, "deviation... insisted... both... uneasiness... on... rocks... and... listlessly... sipping... espresso."

Thursday, January 03, 2019

A Bunch of Learning Books to Learn Things


Antiques and Collectables: 2019 price guide by Eric Bradley. Milk glass is a general term for opaque colored glass.

Disney Cruise Line 2019 by Erin Foster, et al. I've heard from a couple people how much they enjoyed Disney cruises. I guess it'd be neat but I'm not paying that much dough for a boat ride. I don't care how great the food is.

Live Big by Ajit Nawalkha. "The entrepreneur's guide to passion, practicality, and purpose." I guess this is a pep guide.

Clean Eating Weeknight Dinner Plan: quick and healthy meals for any schedule by Michelle Anderson. Page 93 has a tofu recipe.

The Easy Indian Slow Cooker Cookbook by Hari Ghotra.Ghotra is a English cook and apparently worked at some super fancy restaurant.

Handy Forensic Science Answer Book: reading clues at the crime scene, crime lab, and in court by Patricia Barnes-Svarney and Thomas E. Svarney.  The bloodstain photos are not in color.

Zippy Loom Creations: 20 quick and easy knitting projects by Spring House Press. The zippy loom process does look a lot easier. Not that I will get around to trying it. I wouldn't mind a few spare, thick, wool hats though. Hats are always going missing in my house. I bought a couple hats two years ago that have a fleece lining layered between the knitted sides. The hats do not work well, The fleece bunches up inside and you can't pull it apart.

Landscaping Ideas That Work by Julie Moir Messervy. Pretty pictures or pretty landscaping. Everything looks great but I sure won't be gardening any of it.

The Complete Plate by Lauren Klukas. Cookbook with healthy recipes. Klukas lives in Calgary. In Canada. Calgary, Canada's Klukas cooks kale and crepes.

Ultimate Woodwork Bible by Phil Davy and Ben Plewes. Plentiful pretty pictures of plywood. And bandsaws. And sanders. And woods. And chisels.