Thursday, April 08, 2010

Mike-Squared, Dinosaurs, Sherlock Holmes, That Quilt Lady

DVD

Bizarre Dinosaurs by National Geographic. Dinosaurs that look bizarre. We have this in the kids section but I'd guess that kids will have to be at least 3rd grade unless you want to quickly bore them and have them trying to crush your head when all you want to do is sit on the couch and watch a show about bizarre dinosaurs.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans starring Nicolas Cage and Eva Mendes. "High-functioning addict who is a deeply intuitive, fearless detective reigning over the beautiful ruins of New Orleans with authority and abandon." Remember what Kinski said about Herzog?

Herzog is a miserable, hateful, malevolent, avaricious, money-hungry, nasty, sadistic, treacherous, cowardly creep...he should be thrown alive to the crocodiles! An anaconda should strangle him slowly! A poisonous spider should sting him and paralyze his lungs! The most venomous serpent should bite him and make his brain explode! No panther claws should rip open his throat--that would be much too good for him! Huge red ants should piss into his lying eyes and gobble up his balls and his guts! He should catch the plague! Syphilis! Yellow fever! Leprosy! It's no use; the more I wish him the most gruesome deaths, the more he haunts me.

That Kinski. What a card.

Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey , Jr. and Jude Law. Holmes now updated with slow motion! And sexual innuendo! Crider liked this. But, consider the trailers of B-movie dreck he posts on his website.

An Education starring SomeGirl and SomeActorGuy. Teenage girl hooks up with older guy in '60s London.

AudioBook on CD

Bloody Bones by Laurell K. Hamilton. 10 CDs at 12.5 hours. More vampire and werewolf sex I suppose.

Small Wars by Sadie Jones. 8 CDs at 10.5 hours. British Army officer and family go to Cyprus in 1956. Officer is in combat and things change between he and his wife.

Fiction

City of Lost Girls by Declan Hughes. I cannot keep the Declans (Burke and Hughes) apart.

The Blackout by Martha Grimes. Something about a person who has a blackout. Maybe they have a memory blackout during an electrical blackout while playing in a minstrel show wearing blackface.

You know what I want to read about? An overweight, middle-aged woman assassin. They could hold some promise.

Changes by Jim Butcher. You know what I don't want to read about? Witches in Chicago.

Imperfect Birds by Anne Lamott. Judging by the cover illustration and typeface this is something "literary".

The Aloha Quilt by Jennifer Chiaverini. Chiaverini continues to steamroll the quilting universe and become the empress of Quilting Fiction.

NonFiction

Mike and Mike's Rules for Sports and Life by Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic. Golic is the fat one. Greenberg is the one using hair products.

The Rough Guide First-Time Asia by Lesley Reader. I ran across a web page devoted to middle-aged white guys who travel to Thailand for hookers. It was creepy, depressing, and fascinating all at once.

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