Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Four-Year-Old Smells Like Onions

Chive Eating Four-Year-Old

He was outside this morning and pulled some chives from the garden to eat. He even ate the flowers. He really smelled like onions. Later on, I was reading a Magic Tree House novel to him and inserting phrases like, "Eating chives makes you smell like onions." He would say, "No, read it properly!"


How to Take Over The World by NoRealName. "We dedicashuns dis manual to all teh kittehs out dere strugglings udner teh yoke of incompitent servidudes and duddetts." Selections from here.

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern. Selections from here. Including priceless advice like:
On Bragging
"I would simmer down a bit if I were you...Well, for one, the only one who was impressed was the little girl sitting behind you, and for two, they don't exactly hand out Medals of fucking Honor for eating two Denny's breakfast plates in one sitting."
On Getting a Job as a Cook at Hooters "You, my man, are not as dumb as I first fucking suspected."
On the Democratic System "We're having fish for dinner...Fine, let's take a vote. Who wants fish for dinner?...Yeah, democracy ain't so fun when it fucks you, huh?"

Yoga For You Brain by Tim Sole and Rod Marshall. Mental exercises.

Felting: the Complete Guide by Jane Davis. Once again I call BS on anything that says the "complete guide."

Pops: a life of Louis Armstrong by Terry Teachout. Acclaimed bio of the big time musician.

Toys and Prices, 2010 edited by Justin Moen Who Must Have a Sad Life.

Satchel: the life and times of an American legend by Larry Tye. Wasn't Paige so dang good he pitched until he was in his fifties or something? Yep, the guy was 59-freaking-years-old for his last major league pitch.

Jimmy Corrigan: the smartest kid in the world by Chris Ware. What a depressing book.

Home Cooking with Trisha Tearwood by Trisha Yearwood.

Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat by Bill Watterson. Replacement.


A Secret Affair by Mary Balogh. Bleagh.

Supreme Justice by Philip Margolin. Don't care.

Storm Prey by John Sandford. His titles are so unique.

Audiobooks on CD

Think Twice by Lesa Scottoline.

The Long Walk by Slavomir Rawicz. The paper version seems to check out.

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