Friday, May 16, 2014

DVD With Made-up Plots


Dragon starring Donnie Yen, Takeshi Kaneshiro.  A dragon dealer runs into trouble when caught selling inbred animals who are unable to breathe fire.

Free Ride starring Anna Paquin.  RomCom with straightlaced businessman giving hippie hitchhiker a ride to Puerto Rico in his floating car.

The Hunt starring Mads Mikkelsen.  Deer hunter gets lost in Northern Michigan and stumbles upon a fairyland of elves and trolls in battle.

Catching Fire starring Jennifer Lawrence.  In the future a private businessman starts a meteor catching business to compete with his ex-wife's meteor destroying business.

Philomena starring Judi Dench and Steve Coogan.  The cut throat world of competitive flower shows.

Nebraska starring Bruce Dern, Will Forte.  Football fans endlessly blather on until you remind them how they once said, "K-State will never, never, beat Nebraska."

The Suspect starring William Sadler.  FBI agents in 1955 follow an immigrant photographer with questionable friends.

Odd Thomas starring Stephen Sommers, Anton Yelchin.  Tall ship sailor in 1722 fights for his life after a ship wreck on a cannibal island.

Ender's Game starring Harrison Ford.  Iraqi soldiers in 2003 have to decide whether to keep fighting.

Purple Moon starring Alain Delon.  The employees of the Purple Moon nightclub only want to dance and party until a developer announces plans to tear down their building and put up a knitting supply store.

Wicked Blood starring Sean Bean.  Who cares? Sean Bean is in it.

Thor: the Dark World starring Chris Hemsworth.  Thor is banished into a deep cave with no flashlight.

Knights of Badassdom starring Steve Zahn, Peter Dinklage.  Live Action Role Players inadvertently summon a blood-lusting succubus from the pits of Hell.  I did not make that one up.

Polisse starring [French].  The Parisian Forest Service spend their work days trimming trees and their night time dreams trimming hair.

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